


Elaborate Lives: Amity's Tale

by MackenzieW



Series: Elaborate Lives [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Gen, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-17
Updated: 2014-09-19
Packaged: 2017-12-08 17:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/764215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MackenzieW/pseuds/MackenzieW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At the height of Voldemort's first reign of terror, Remus Lupin sent fiancee Amity Anderson into hiding with their young daughter. When he failed to make contact after Voldemort's defeat, she believes he is dead and makes a new life for herself and her daughter in France. Voldemort's return fifteen years late shatters that life and Amity eventually returns to England. There she is reunited with friends she hadn't seen in years--and a very much alive Remus. How does she rebuild the shattered pieces of her life and her daughter's?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Amity in France

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Here’s the second part of my Elaborate Lives series. This one is told from Amity’s perspective. It should fill in some gaps for those who read Kristin’s Tale. You don’t have to read it before reading this, but I do hope you give it a read. I hope everyone enjoys it! 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from the Harry Potter series. I do own any original characters in this story, especially Amity Anderson-Bernard, Elysia Lupin-Bernard, Kristin Wright and Philomena Wright.

### Elaborate Lives: Amity’s Tale

Amity Bernard had enough of funerals. Of hearing phrases like “gone too soon” and “he’ll be missed by all who knew him.” Of seeing nothing but black robes and clothing. Of people looking at her with pity in their eyes. Of staring at holes in the ground. She had enough of loss.

“Mum? Are you in here?” She sat up upon hearing her daughter’s voice. Elysia leaned against the doorway to her mother’s room. She wore a light blue dress paired with dark stockings and shoes—her school uniform for Beauxbatons. The matching blue coat lay over her arms. Her sun bleached hair was pulled into a bun.

The older woman sat up, smiling. “You ready to head back to school?”

“Madame Maxime said the carriage would come to pick me up before sunrise.” Elysia frowned. “But perhaps I should wait a bit more.”

“No, no. You’ve missed enough school. It’s best you go back.”

“Are you sure? I could ask to stay another few days if you want.”

Amity shook her head. “No, you need to go back. It’ll be good for you. Just give me a minute and I’ll change. Go.”

She ushered her daughter out before closing the door. With a deep breath, she steeled herself for the day. Amity opened the dresser drawer and paused. Neatly folded in there were her husband’s shirts. Hands shaky, she picked one up and held it to her face. She inhaled deeply, a cinnamon scent overpowering her. Michel’s aftershave. Tears pricked her eyes but she fought them back as she shoved the shirt back into the drawer.

“I thought you had gone back to bed.” Elysia stood at the bottom of the stairs as her mother came down.

Amity wore a simple blue robe with black boots underneath. “I couldn’t decide what to wear.”

“You were smelling Papa’s shirts again.”

“The way you say it makes it sound perverted. And don’t think I didn’t see you curled up on his chair last night.”

“I was reading and the chair is comfortable,” Elysia protested. Her mother though smiled while shaking her head. Elysia crossed her arms. “Are you sure you’ll be fine without me?”

Amity placed her hands on her daughter’s arms. “For the umpteenth time, yes. Don’t worry about me, Elysia. I’ve survived this before and I’ll survive this again.”

“You’re thinking of Daddy?” Elysia’s voice became higher, almost like when she was a child.

Hugging her only child again, Amity sighed. “Let’s not dwell on such dark things. It won’t do either of us any good.”

Elysia nodded. “You’re right. And the carriage will be here soon. I don’t want to be a depressed mess.”

“Good call. Do you have everything?”

Her daughter rolled her eyes with a sigh. “Yes, Mum.”

“Are you sure?”

“I checked and double checked. I am becoming more organized.” She crossed her arms. “So you can stop writing to Amelie.”

Amity shook her head. “Not until you graduate. And besides, I need to thank her and her family for their condolences.”

Knocking interrupted their conversation. Amity hugged her daughter. “Have a good time at school, dear. Write me every week.”

“I will, Mum, I promise.” Elysia hugged her mother back. Stepping away, she put on her blue coat and grabbed the bag by the door. “I’ll see you at Christmas.”

“Wait, I’ll walk you out.” Amity hurried after her daughter. The sun had yet to rise but the streetlamps had gone out. She had no doubt the driver of the carriage, a tall skinny man holding open the door for her daughter. He was so pale his skin seemed to glow in the dark and Amity had to wonder if Madame Maxime sent a vampire to fetch the girl.

Before climbing fully into the carriage, Elysia looked back at her mother and waved. Summoning up everything in her, Amity smiled and waved back. Elysia disappeared within the carriage as the driver took his seat. His team of thestrals pawed the ground, waiting to take off. Amity closed her eyes, unable to look at the beasts as they were a reminder of why she was able to see them.

Opening them again, she focused on the carriage as it took off into the brightening skies. She watched as it disappeared above the clouds as the street lamps blinked back on one by one. With a sigh, she returned inside.

The house was emptier with Elysia gone. Amity realized how silent the place was as she sat with her morning tea. Alone with her thoughts, which were not very comforting right now.

She had no appetite. Not since she learned the news about Michel. Two husbands lost to her; she had a lousy track record. In her kitchen, staring at the steam emanating from her mug, she swore off marriage.

Taking the mug into the living room, she lounged on the couch to muse about what to do for the rest of the day. Amity had a pile of books she had intended to read but kept putting off for another time. Perhaps this was the time to start working through it.  
She could always go to work. Her employer told her to take as much time as she needed but it would keep her busy. Keep her mind from thinking about how alone she was now.

Amity stretched out on the couch. She could stay like that all day. Do nothing but eat and stare at the ceiling. But it would not keep the thoughts at bay.

Nothing seemed appealing.

Stretching, a frame caught her eye and she sat up to grab it. It was taken years ago, back when she still lived in the United Kingdom. A younger Amity stood, holding a newborn Elysia. She wore a red sweater while her daughter was dressed in a beautiful red dress bought by her grandmothers for her first Christmas. Beside the two was a tall young man with brown hair. Gray eyes shone out as he gazed down on the two beside him. He was Elysia’s father, Amity’s first love—Remus Lupin.

 _Remus._ The soft spoken, intelligent boy had stolen her heart their second year of school. It took them both a few years to admit it and even then only because their friends had intervened, forcing them on a date. She recalled their awkward first kiss underneath a tree on the road between Hogsmeade and Hogwarts. It wasn’t anything like the novels Kristin hid under her bed at school but Amity treasured it forever.

She knew she was different from the other girls in her class because she knew after a year of dating she would marry Remus. Kristin and Lily, her best friends, thought it was sweet but many of the other girls thought she was being foolish.

_“You can’t decide your life at fourteen,” one girl said._

_“And to choose Remus Lupin? Don’t you think that’s settling?” another added._

_A third piped up. “Look around. You’ll find someone way better than Remus Lupin.”_

_“Shut up, Persephone. You would be lucky to end up with someone that’s half the man Remus already is,” Kristin shot back. She crossed her arms. “We would all be so lucky.”_

Lucky. Amity had been lucky to have Remus in her life, brief as it had been. She reached up to the chain she always wore. From it hung a silver ring with a small diamond set on it. Remus had worked hard that summer to try and earn enough to buy her one. It was small but beautiful. He had proposed before their senior year, even asking her father for permission.

It hadn’t been easy, though. Remus had a dark secret, one which Amity had to confess to her parents. He was a werewolf, bitten at a young age and forced to experience agonizing transformations every month. Amity always worried about him during those periods, afraid he would not be able to survive. But somehow he always did, even if he grew more tired with each one.

The prejudice against werewolves was great and Amity’s parents were no different. Remus had been over to her house before she revealed his secret to them yet they still had banned her from seeing him upon learning it. She didn’t give up though; instead, she kept reminding parents of the courteous, soft-spoken young man who had dined with them. At last, they were able to look past his condition and her father gave them his blessing days before they left for Hogwarts to start their final year. They walked along Platform 9 and ¾ with the diamond on her ring glinting in the light. Kristin and Lily had run up to her to admire it as well as congratulate the pair. Sirius and James had begun to plan their friend’s stag party.

Getting her parents to approve had been easy compared to getting official approval from the Ministry of Magic. They had been surprised when, shortly after arriving at Hogwarts, the headmaster had called them to his office.

_Remus held her hand the entire way. “I am certain it is nothing to worry about,” he said, trying to assure her. It did little to calm the butterflies in her stomach._

_Their head of house, Professor McGonagall, met them at the door and led them to two chairs set up in the office. She took her place beside the headmaster, Albus Dumbledore. He watched the two over the rim of his half-moon glasses and his beard hid his mouth. “I’ve heard congratulations are in order for you two.”_

_“Thank you, sir,” Remus said. Amity still was unable to speak. Or swallow._

_Dumbledore didn’t smile. “You know it will be a hard road ahead.”_

_The two nodded. “But we got my parents to accept it,” Amity said._

_“The Ministry of Magic will be much harder than your parents, my dear.” Dumbledore sighed. “There are laws preventing werewolves from marrying.”_

_“And from having children, I presume?” Remus asked. Dumbledore nodded._

_Amity rubbed her hands on her uniform skirt. “Are you saying we should break up? Because I’m not going to do that, Headmaster.”_

_Dumbledore smiled at last. “Of course not. I just want to make sure you two are prepared for the prejudice you are going up again.”_

_The two nodded. “I believe we are, sir.”_

_“Then you are dismissed. Have a good year, you two.”_

They did have a good year, despite the threat of Voldemort hanging over the wizarding world. Hogwarts was separate; a world unto itself. Entering the real world was the problem. Remus found it difficult to hold a job as he had to take off at least once a month to recover from his transformations. A few employers found out he was a werewolf and fired him for it.

She knew he felt bad about not being able to provide for her but she didn’t blame him. It had been the prejudice Dumbledore had warned them about. Remus had even offered to let her break their engagement, to find a man “who could give you a normal life.”

_“I don’t want a normal life, Remus. I want a life with you.”_

And they had been on their way to having that life. She smiled as she remembered the she had a rather embarrassing episode at work for her. Her employer at the apothecary was very supportive when she threw up in a nearby garbage can after coming in contact with an herb she had used without incident before. Giving her the afternoon off, he advised her to see a healer. The kind witch who saw her listened to her symptoms and administered a simple test.

_The woman returned after a few minutes, smiling. “Congratulations, dearie. You’re pregnant!”_

_Emotions flew through Amity at that moment. Fear. Hope. Excitement. Anxiety. Once everything settled, though, only happiness remained. She was going to be a mother! Thanking the witch, Amity resisted the urge to run home._

Remus was not as happy as she at first, which deflated her enthusiasm. _“What’s wrong?” she asked. “Aren’t you happy?”_

_“I’m…overwhelmed. I need some time to think about it.” He sat down, eyes glassy._

_“About what?” Amity took a seat by her fiancé._

_“Many things. Like the fact I can’t hold steady employment. Or that I turn into a dangerous animal once a month. What if the child is a werewolf as well?”_

_Amity took his face in her hands. “We discussed all of this, back when we were in Hogwarts. Remember?”_

_He sighed, averting his eyes. “I know, but now…it’s real. It’s not this hypothetical situation anymore.”_

_“I know. And I’m scared too. This is more than playing with dolls. But I know you’ll be there. We can do this together, right?”_

_Remus smiled, kissing the palm of her hand. “We’re going to be parents!”_

His demeanor changed afterwards and he became excited for their impending arrival, as Sirius took to calling Elysia. Amity was treated by a midwife recommended by Madame Pomfrey, a witch who promised to use discretion. The Ministry forbade werewolves from procreating, fearing the gene could be passed on—something the midwife believed had a very low chance of happening. She assured Amity and Remus their child was going to be normal. Amity had been relieved but didn’t want to show it to her husband; she didn’t want him to think it had been important. But he had been as relieved as she.

_“No child should have to experience what I go through,” he said._

Elysia had been perfect at birth. Ten fingers, ten toes. Healthy and happy, just what they wanted. Remus and Amity had asked their friend Kristin Wright to be the girl’s godmother and she had agreed. Everything was going right at last.

But their perfect little world popped. Voldemort kept growing in power, his darkness covering the wizarding world. People they knew—classmates, friends, family—were dead or presumed so. Remus had joined Dumbledore’s Order of the Phoenix along with the rest of their close friends, fighting against the Death eaters. Amity had wanted to join but given her pregnancy, she and Remus decided it was best she didn’t.

Their friend Lily soon became pregnant but there was little time to celebrate the birth of her son Harry. For reasons Amity never understood, Lily and her husband James were whisked into hiding with their baby boy. Remus’ explanation gave her chills.

_“Dumbledore suspects there is a mole amongst our friends.” Remus rocked a young Elysia, who was fighting sleep._

_Amity dropped the shirt she was folding. “What? Why would he think that?”_

_“Things that are happening suggest someone is feeding Voldemort information.”_

_“Isn’t that Snape’s job?”_

_“He feeds him misinformation. And Voldemort seems to be acting on information not even Snape knows.”_

_Nerves tightened in the pit of her stomach. “But our friends? Who amongst them would do such a thing?”_

_“Dumbledore and the others are pressing us to name someone. We all refuse but I know we all suspect someone. Sirius suspects Kristin because of her relationship with Snape and the fact her brother was just arrested for being a Death eater. And though she hasn’t said anything, I think Kristin suspects me. I can see it in her eyes.”_

_Amity hesitated, afraid to ask the question haunting her. But she had to know. “Who do you think is the mole?”_

_“Amity…” He sighed. “Sirius.”_

_She gasped. “No! He would rather die than betray James.”_

_“But he was raised by Purebloods who believe what Voldemort does. It’s difficult to shake that. Look at Kristin. I know the only reason she suspects me is because of the hatred of werewolves she was raised with.”_

_“But Sirius has always been so different…”_

_“Everything is so confusing.” He kissed the top of their sleeping daughter’s head. “At least things make sense here.”_

_“And it’s safe here.”_

_Remus was once again silent, choosing instead to bring Elysia to her room._

A few weeks later, Remus came home to tell her he was going on a special assignment for Dumbledore. She wanted to go to her parents’ house in Northern England but it wasn’t safe. Fate then stepped in. Her employer asked her to go help a friend in southern France. _“Attacks there are few and far between. It’s best for you and your little girl,” she said._

Remus and her parents agreed. _“Go and take Elysia. And when it’s safe again, I’ll send for you. I promise.” He kissed her forehead._

So she disappeared into the French wizarding world as the war continued to wage around her. Elysia started walking and talking, all away from her father. Amity tried to take as many pictures as possible, but it was a daunting challenge. She hoped Remus forgave her for giving up and was happy with what she managed to capture.

Then the fateful issue of Le Plume, the French wizarding newspaper, arrived at her doorstep. LE MORT DE VOLDEMORT! Amity had to read it three times until it finally sunk in. Voldemort was dead. The war was over. She could go back home.

As she continued reading the article, nausea grew. The war was over but at a price, a price too steep for her. Her friends, the Potters, were dead and their son orphaned. She let the paper fall from her hands as she raced to pick up her daughter, kissing the girl’s hair. Tears fell down her face, confusing the toddler. Elysia patted her mother’s cheek, trying to get the woman to smile.

_“It’s okay, baby. Everything is going to be okay.”_

She didn’t know how many times she had said that over the course of Elysia’s life. The second time she uttered it was after she returned to England, reuniting with her parents. Elysia had been overwhelmed by the attention of the family she hadn’t seen in a long time and had started crying in the middle of the reunion. Amity took her outside to calm down and whispered the words again to her, while praying the reunion with Remus was smoother.

At that time, the reunion was uncertain. She had delayed returning to England, waiting for him to send for her—as they agreed before she left. Nothing came. But she was a patient woman and so she waited. There was much to do, she realized. It wouldn’t go back to like it was before Voldemort’s reign overnight. No, it would take work. And then Remus would send for her.

Yet even her patience ran out, especially as she passed the holidays again in France. Amity wanted to be home, with Remus and her family. So after New Year’s, she told her employer she wanted to go home. He was sad to see her go but understood. _“Remember, you always have a job here if you need it,” he told her._

So she returned to her parents’ house. And she waited. Nothing. Every day she would wake up, hopeful today was the day. But by the end of the day, she went to bed disappointed. Finally, she had to face the truth: Remus had died. No one was going to report a werewolf’s death. Dumbledore may not even know for certain, depending on whatever his mission had been.

After coming to this realization, she tried to find the one friend she had left—Kristin Wright. Peter had been killed by Sirius, who was also responsible for the Potters’ death. _Remus had been right,_ she thought sadly. How could they have been so blind? How had Sirius fooled them for so long? Perhaps Kristin had the answers she needed.

The trouble was finding her. Amity sent many letters to her friend’s flat in London but received no answer. So she wrote to Philomena Wright, Kristin’s mother, in hopes of finding out what happened. This time, she received a response.

Amity peeled herself off the couch, walking over to the bookcase in the room. She found an old leather-bound scrapbook and pulled it out. Flipping the yellowed pages, Amity landed on the one she wanted. Pasted there was the letter from Philomena.

_Dear Amity,_

_It was good to hear from you. And thank you for the pictures of Elysia. She is growing into a beautiful girl. You and Remus must be so proud!_

_But I must inform you that Kristin is no longer in the country. The war was too much for her, I’m afraid. Between the Potters’ deaths, Sirius’ betrayal and her relationship with Severus ending…Well, she needed a fresh start. So she moved to Rio de Janiero in Brazil. I have enclosed her address there._

_I should warn you, though, she has left the magical community. Do not worry, she hasn’t broken her wand. But I think you should know._

_Good luck, my dear. If you ever need me, do not hesitate to write._

_Yours,_

_Philomena Wright_

Amity closed the scrapbook, clutching it to her chest. She never wrote the letter to Kristin. It seemed pointless if her friend was no longer a part of the wizarding world. How could she help?

So she lay in bed at night, thinking. And it came to her—France. It was the best option for her and Elysia. She had a job there and could easily find a house. There were also some friends she could rely on as well as a strong magical community. When she spoke of it to her parents, they agreed it was for the best but they declined to come with her. _“Our lives are here, my dear. But we will visit, I promise,” her father said._

_“And I promise to bring Elysia here regularly,” she said._

It was a promise they all kept over the years. Her parents had returned the day before, once they were certain Amity would be fine on her own. She missed them already. But she didn’t regret staying in France; it was for the best.

 _Ding dong!_ Amity rolled off the couch, landing on the floor. Her hip connected with the coffee table, a stinging pain running up and down her torso. She pulled herself up, wincing as she did so.

Limping over to the door, she opened it. An older gentleman wearing long navy blue robes stood on the outside. Gold half-moon glasses were perched on the tip of his nose as his blue eyes studied her appearance. His long beard was just as she remembered, if a few shades whiter.

Her mouth hung open. “Headmaster Dumbledore?”

“Hello, Amity. May I come in?”


	2. A Visit from Dumbledore

### Chapter Two: 

The kettle whistled as steam rose from its spout. Amity poured the steaming water into two mugs to prepare tea. “Milk? Sugar? Lemon?”

“Sugar, please. And a dash of lemon, if it’s not too much of an inconvenience.”

“Not at all.” The spoon clanked against the mug, echoing around her kitchen, before she placed it in front of the man. “Here you go.”

“Thank you, Amity.” He took a sip and she felt his eyes boring into her as if observing her soul.

Dumbledore placed his mug down. “I heard about your husband. Please accept my condolences.”

“Thank you, Headmaster. But how did you find out?”

The man observed her for a few moments before answering. “I have my contacts.”

“That’s a bit unnerving yet unsurprising.” Amity glanced down into her tea, as if it would give her the answers. “Who is it?”

There was silence. “Madame Maxime.”

“You’ve been spying on Elysia as well, then?”

“Not spying. She came to Hogwarts with the other Beauxbatons students for the Triwizard Tournament last year.” Amity looked up to see the smile growing amongst his beard. “Most teachers recognized her at once—she looks just like you. Even Snape made a comment.”

Amity raised an eyebrow. “Severus Snape is teaching at Hogwarts? Please tell me it’s not Defense Against the Dark Arts.”

“Potions.”

“That suits him, I believe. Though I still can’t see him as a teacher. He didn’t seem to have the patience.”

“True.” He chuckled. “Though I am certain you know I am not here to only offer my condolences.”

“I do.”

Dumbledore pushed his mug aside. “As you know, Voldemort is back.”

“No, really?” Her tone was more sarcastic than she had meant and Amity sighed. “Sorry, Headmaster.”

“Understandable. These are tense times. What is the French Ministry’s stance?”

“They won’t say Voldemort’s back mostly because the British ministry won’t. But they’ve put us on the highest alert and have handed out fliers reminding magical families of protection charms and measures. Everyone is taking this seriously.”

“I’m glad to hear that. I wish I could convince our ministry to do the same.” Dumbledore shook his head. “But Fudge would rather stick his head in the sand and deny everything unpleasant.”

Amity rolled her eyes. “Sounds about right. But I still don’t see what this has to do with me, sir.”

Dumbledore chuckled. “You do not have to call me ‘headmaster’ or ‘sir,’ Amity. You graduated years ago. I think you can call me Albus.”

“I don’t know, sir. It might be difficult. Habits and all that.”

“Of course. But I hope that changes should you become one of my colleagues.”

She blinked before leaning forward. “What do you mean, sir?”

“Fudge is trying to take over Hogwarts. And doing so by imposing teachers on me, like his pet, Dolores Umbridge.”

Amity shuddered. She remembered the young woman who had smirked at her when she found out about Remus’ condition. _“Oh, Amity. You would’ve made such a lovely bride. Too bad no one is going to want a half-breed’s reject.”_

“What is that vile woman teaching?” She crossed her arms. “How to Hate Everything That Isn’t You 101? Lord, I hated that woman. She was practically a Death eater.”

Dumbledore was solemn. “And she’s teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts.”

“Those kids may have been better off with Severus. Poor disposition and all.”

“Which is why I want you to come teach it.”

Amity nearly spit out her tea. “Pardonne-moi?”

Dumbledore chuckled. “I think you would be most adept at it. And the Ministry can’t argue against you.”

“Umbridge knew about me and Remus. I’m sure she told others. Or she will if I try to take her job.” She sighed. “And I’m not qualified. Maybe to teach Herbology, but definitely not Defense Against the Dark Arts.”

“Nonsense. You were one of the best students in your class. And an excellent tutor.”

“I am still going to have to refuse, Headmaster. I have a life here in France, sir. So does my daughter. We’re too established to pull up roots now.”

Dumbledore nodded. “I understand. Thank you for not slamming the door on me when you first saw me.”

“Why would I do that?”

“You wouldn’t be the first.” He stood. “Well, Amity, I must thank you for the hospitality. And if you ever change your mind, you know how to reach me.”

“Of course, Headmaster. It was good to see you again.”

Dumbledore paused at the door. “It’s a shame you and Remus Lupin didn’t work out. I had faith in you two.”

Before Amity could process what he had said, Dumbledore was gone. She stared at the door, trying to figure out what he meant. Dumbledore had to know Remus was dead. Nothing happened without Dumbledore knowing.

She shook her head. _Perhaps he had meant Remus’ death. Maybe I’m reading too much into this._

Weeks went by and Amity forgot about the visit from her former headmaster. She returned to work, settling into a new routine. One without Michel. It was difficult. Waking up alone. Eating breakfast alone. Coming home alone. Eating dinner alone. Spending the evening alone. Going to bed alone. Alone, alone, alone.

Her circle of friends had shrunk, to her surprise. People who had occupied her home and hugged and comforted her following Michel’s death were gone. They were too busy to have lunch or spend an evening with her. Everything they had promised during the wake and funeral forgotten. Perhaps they had only been Michel’s friends after all.

Thinking back, Amity realized she had never made friends outside of Michel’s social circle. Jean, her employer, was the only exception. She had met Michel soon after moving to France. He had walked into the apothecary one sunny morning…

_Ding! Ding! The bell Jean tied to the door echoed through the store. Amity was in the back, grounding up some St. Johns wort for a customer when she heard it. Jean had stepped out for a moment so it was up to her to wait on the newcomer. Wiping her hands, she left the workroom. “Can I help you?”_

_She stopped, her mind going blank when she saw the customer. It was a tall man with thick blond hair but it was his eyes which captivated her. Dark green in color, just like Lily’s eyes had been. Amity had to look away for a moment, blinking away tears._

_“Is something wrong?” He leaned on the counter, watching her._

_Amity shook her head. “Just something in my eye. Sorry. Once again, can I help you?”_

_His smile turned sheepish. “Well, this is embarrassing. I’ve forgotten why I came in here in the first place.”_

_As he laughed, Amity smiled. He had an infectious laugh, one which came from his very soul. She liked it. Leaning forward, she rested her cheek on her hand. “Well, let’s see if we can jog your memory.”_

_He leaned closer as well. “Yes, let’s.”_

_Together, they discovered the ingredients the man needed and he left smiling. It was later, when Amity went back to the task she was doing earlier, that she realized he had been flirting with her. And she had flirted back._

_It didn’t bother her._

A week afterwards, Michel had waited for her outside the store. He asked her out to dinner but she had to turn him down. Elysia’s sitter was an impatient woman who did not like Amity to be even a minute late. Michel, though, was persistent. Day after day, he tried. But she had to keep refusing.

One day, he offered to walk her home. It was an offer she couldn’t refuse. So they talked as they journeyed to her house, the conversation easy-going. Amity found she enjoyed his presence, feeling disappointed when they reached her destination. They stood outside, continuing the conversation, until Nicole burst out the door. She yelled at Amity about her tardiness before Michel interrupted the woman. _“Do you pay her money?” he asked._

_Nicole seemed taken aback by his question “No, of course not. She pays me.”_

_“Then why are you ordering her around?” The woman was silent but Michel continued. “How often is Amity late?”_

_“Rarely.”_

_“So, why the attitude?”_

_Nicole had no response. She left the two alone as Elysia called for her mother from inside the house. Amity smiled. “I believe I am in your debt, good sir.”_

_He laughed. “I believe you are. How about you go to dinner with me?”_

_“I will have to check with Nicole, but I have a feeling she won’t mind working one night.”_

_They shared another laugh. It was like something from the novels Kristin used to pretend weren’t hidden under her bed back at Hogwarts. Amity liked it._

It was a whirlwind romance. After Remus, she never thought she would love someone as much again. But she was wrong and was glad for it. Michel brightened her life as well as Elysia’s. The little girl took to the man quicker than her mother had expected. Amity believed it was because Elysia had no memory of her real father, only the stories told at bedtime as they flipped through photo albums. She was glad there was father-figure in Elysia’s life now.

When Michel proposed, life was perfect. They married in a small ceremony and Amity settled into the life she had always dreamt of with Remus. Husband. Child. House. Everything.

Her marriage came with a wider social circle. All of Michel’s friends welcomed Amity and Elysia into their homes. She enjoyed their company though a part of her still missed Sirius and Kristin. Well, perhaps just Kristin. It was clear they hadn’t known Sirius as well as they thought.

But it was Michel she missed now. His laugh and smile. How he hummed when reading the paper, tapping his foot to the beat in his head. How he teased her about her messy tendencies. His voice in general.

A sob escaped her as she lay in their bed, clutching his pillow close. His aroma lingered though it was growing fainter each day. She prayed she never forgot it like she had Remus’. It was one of her biggest regrets—not bringing something of his for that very purpose.

Michel had been understanding about Remus, which was another thing which she appreciated. He was not afraid to let her talk about him, sometimes initiating the conversations. It made the grieving process easier.

Perhaps that’s why this time it hurt more. There was no one to talk to about Michel, not with everyone who knew him ignoring her.

Christmas that year was low-key. Despite her mother’s protestations, Elysia came home for the holiday break. “You would’ve had more fun at school,” Amity said.

Elysia placed her bags on the floor. “No one else was there. Besides, I’d rather be here with you. We need to stick together.” She hugged her mother before smiling. “Now, come on. Time to bake some cookies!”

The house soon smelt of vanilla, which lifted Amity’s mood. Somehow, she connected it with Remus though she no longer remembered if it was because he smelt of it or not. Lounging on the couch with her daughter, they munched on the cookies while the Wizard Wireless played Christmas music. “I feel merrier already,” she said.

Her daughter smiled. “Good. That was the plan. So, when’s the party?”

“What party?”

“You know what I’m talking about! Alain and Genevieve’s annual soiree. It should be soon, right?”

Amity grew somber. Elysia was right, it was usually around this time. Alain and Genevieve’s party was the highlight of the holiday season. Good food and good friends, they always said. _Until you end up a widow, I guess._ She reached over and took her daughter’s hand. “Well, I’m sure we’ll get the invite soon enough. But for now, let’s enjoy each other, okay?”

Elysia smiled and nodded, munching on another cookie.

By Christmas Eve, it was clear Alain and Genevieve were not inviting them. Though Amity put on a smile, it hurt. And Elysia wasn’t fooled. “Maybe we should just go. The invitation may have gotten lost and they may be expecting us.”

Amity shook her head. “There are a lot of ‘maybes’ in that statement. I don’t want to put them into an awkward situation. And perhaps it is better if we just do low-key.”

Elysia groaned as she flopped down next to her mother. “You can’t just hide away, Mum. Papa wouldn’t have wanted it.”

“I know, Elysia, I do. But he wouldn’t want me to crash a party to do so.”

“You don’t know you would be crashing…”

“Of course I would. I haven’t spoken to Alain and Genevieve since the funeral, Elysia. And it’s not because I withdrew. I sent them invites to dinner, lunch, anything that would get me out of the house. They never replied.”

“Wow. Sorry, Mum. I never thought they would turn their backs on you.”

“Neither did I.” She sighed. “Here’s a tip, dear. Try to build friendships outside of your marriage. You’ll need to rely on them.”

“What about Aunt Kristin?” Elysia asked.

Amity shrugged. “She left the wizarding world, Elysia.”

“I know. But that doesn’t mean she left your friendship.”

The older woman chuckled. “You are wise. Wiser than your years, I do say. You get that from your father.”

Elysia smiled. “No changing the subject. Are you going to write to Aunt Kristin or not?”

“Cheeky child. And I don’t know. How do you write to someone you haven’t talked to in years? And she also left the wizarding world.”

“You’ve said that.”

“I don’t know how to send post the Muggle way.”

Elysia rolled her eyes. “I can help you. I have Muggle friends, after all.”

Amity patted her hand. “Thank you, dear. I’ll consider it.”

The season ended sooner than Amity wanted and she found herself hugging Elysia in the predawn hours as they awaited the carriage back to Beauxbatons. “I’m going to miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you too. And I promise to write.”

Amity laughed. “Good.”

“And I want you to promise me something.”

“What?”

“Go visit Nana and Grandfather. I’m sure they’ll love to see you. And I think you need to get away. Change of scenery and all that.”

Amity took a deep breath. “You know what? You’re right. I’ll make the arrangements later in the morning.”

Elysia hugged her mother again. “Good. Tell them I love them and I’ll write them as soon as possible.”

“I will.”

The carriage swooped down to land before their house. Laughter emerged from within from the girls already picked up. With one last wave, Elysia climbed in and disappeared from sight.

With a sigh, Amity walked inside the house. She had a letter to write.


	3. Where the Dream Takes You

### Chapter Three

Northern England in winter was miserable. Amity had forgotten how so in her years in the south of France. She often didn’t visit in the winter; her parents preferred to come to her. Returning home, she now did not blame them for doing so. The wind was unforgiving, chilling her right to her bone. It had been years since she felt like this.

Pulling her coat closer, Amity hurried down the lane toward her childhood home. The gray skies overhead threatened rain. _Some things never change. I should’ve brought an umbrella._ She sighed; increasing her speed. Perhaps she could outrun the rain.  
The cottage appeared on the horizon. _Almost there. Just a little bit further._

Drip. Drip. Drip. Amity tried to ignore it. Drip. Drip. Drip. She stared straight ahead. Drip. Drip. Drip. The cottage loomed. Drip. Drip. Drip. A droplet ran down her cheek. Drip. Drip. Drip.

She opened the gate and hurried up the walk as the drips turned into something more. It began to seep through her coat. But she was almost at the front door. Amity reached out, hand encircling the knob. Turning it, she stepped inside as the heavens opened up outside. “Nick of time,” she sighed.

She rested against the solid door and took a deep breath. The house still smelled the same. Her mother’s soft floral perfume, the clean scent of the laundry soap her parents preferred and the lingering scent of pine from Christmas. Vanilla also wafted past her nose.

Remus always smelled like vanilla.

The thought came to her like a punch in the gut. She turned her head to blink away the tears filling her eyes before anyone saw.

“Amity? Is that you?” Her father emerged from the parlor, white hair mussed and sweater askew. “Beat the rain, I see.”

She smiled as she embraced him. “Hi, Dad. Did I wake you?”

He shook his head. “Woke up from my nap about an hour ago. Didn’t have the energy to get out of bed until I heard the door open.”

Amity frowned. “Are you feeling well, Dad?”

“Yes, yes. Just getting old.” He shook his head. “How are you?”

She shrugged. “Surviving.”

He pulled her in for another hug. “I am so sorry you have to go through this. Again.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. She took a deep breath, calming her emotions, as she stepped away from her father’s warm embrace. “It’s good to be home.”

Her father nodded. “And it’s good to have you here. It took a lot to convince your mother not to drag you back here after the funeral.”

“I can imagine. I had a whole argument planned out for why I couldn’t come home with you two and was surprised when she didn’t insist. Now I know why.”

“Indeed.” Albert Anderson looked at his daughter’s luggage. “Do you want some help?”

“No, I got it. It’s just this one.” Amity picked up her bag. “Am I in the guest room?”

“Are you a guest? You’re staying in your room.” Her father leaned forward. “You do remember where it is, right?”

Amity rolled her eyes. “I haven’t been away for that long. I think I’ll manage.” She kissed her father’s cheek and walked down the hallway.

Her childhood bedroom hadn’t changed much over the years. A nightstand next to her bed held a clock and her old radio. She had spent many nights listening to the Wizard Wireless Network, desperate for news on the war with Voldemort. Books lined several shelves along a wall, toys and other trinkets mixed amongst them. Pictures decorated the room as well, hung on the wall with care.

Amity placed her luggage down and jumped onto her bed, sinking into the mattress. Sleep tugged at her as she toed off her shoes and she welcomed its embrace.

_She walked through King’s Cross Station, weaving around the crowd. It had been years since she had come in here but it hadn’t changed. People shouted as friends and family arrived, rushing forward to hug them. Others pushed carts holding their luggage ahead of them._

_“Mum, do you know where we are going?” Eleven years-old Elysia stood beside her, arms crossed._

_“Of course I do. I’m waiting for your father to catch up.”_

_Elysia rolled her eyes. “Excuses, excuses.”_

_“Keep up the attitude and you can navigate your own way to Platform Nine and three quarters.”_

_“Mum!” Elysia whined._

_“Stop whining, Elysia, or I’ll make you push your things the rest of the way.” Remus caught up with them, their daughter’s belongings in a cart—her trunk, a few bags and a carrier with an owl inside. A disgruntled hoot emerged from it. “Now, come on. You don’t want to be late.”_

_Elysia sighed as they resumed their trek. Amity glanced over her shoulder to smile at Remus, who winked in response. She shook her head as they arrived at the entrance to the platform._

_Amity squeezed her daughter’s hand. “You ready?”_

_Biting her lip, Elysia glanced up at her mother with wide eyes. Amity leaned down. “Do you want your father to go first?”_

_The girl nodded and they stood aside to give Remus room. He winked at his girls before pushing the cart through the wall, disappearing from their view. Elysia gasped, her hold tightening on her mother’s hand. “He’s okay, right?”_

_“Oh, yes. And we will be too once we go through. You ready?”_

_With a glance at the wall, Elysia nodded. “Let’s go!”_

_The two approached the wall but they didn’t pass through. Amity tapped the wall, but it was solid. How? Why? She banged on the wall. “Remus? Remus! Help us! We can’t get through! Remus!”_

_She received no answer. Amity turned, leaning against the wall. Elysia stood in front of her, but she was older. “Mum? Are you okay?”_

_“I can’t get through, Elysia. And your father is on the other side. We can’t reach him.”_

_“I know, Mum. But don’t worry, Papa’s here!” She motioned behind her._

_Standing amongst the crowds at King’s Cross was Michel, smiling. What was he doing here? Amity reached out, beckoning him closer. Michel, though, walked past her and through the wall like Remus. “Michel? Remus? Anybody? HELP!”_

Amity sat up, panting. Sweat trickled down her cheek as she stared into her darkened room. _What was that?_  
She didn’t have a third eye or a penchant for Divinations. Kristin did. These dreams happened to her and she would seek out their meaning upon awakening. Amity didn’t know how to do that, where to turn to. Furthermore, she didn’t think she wanted to know what it meant.

There was a knock on her door. “Amity? You up?” Concern laced her mother’s words.

Amity took a deep breath. “Yes, Mum. Do you need something?”

“I was wondering if you were hungry. Are you?”

“Yeah, I think I am. I’ll be right out.”

“Don’t rush, Amity. You have some time.”

Her mother’s footsteps faded away and Amity hopped off the bed, making for the bathroom. She splashed cold water on her face, taking deep breaths. _It was just a dream. Nothing more, Amity. Stop freaking out._ But as she dried her face, she still wished she could ask Kristin what her dream meant.

Dinner was quiet and peaceful. Her parents didn’t pry and she was grateful for that. She didn’t want to answer any questions or lie that she was doing fine. Instead, it was easier to pretend. Pretend everything was all right. Pretend she wasn’t falling apart inside.

“How is Elysia, dear?” her mother asked.

“She is doing well. Getting good grades. And she still competes in her Quidditch competitions.”

Albert laughed. “Oh, we hear about those! She writes us pages and pages about the games and then squeezes everything else into a small paragraph on the bottom of the last one!”

“That sounds like Elysia.” Amity laughed. “I think all the Quidditch talk she heard in utero from James and Sirius really sunk in.”

Everyone became quiet. It had been an unspoken rule—never say Sirius’ name out loud. Amity wasn’t sure why. Saying it wouldn’t bring him here.

Her father looked at her. “Why did you mention him?”

“No reason. Why?”

“He’s still missing, you know.”

“I know. What does that have to do with me?”

Albert stared at his daughter. “Has he tried to contact you?”

“What? Why would he do that?”

“Because he’s mad. Does he need a reason?” He took her hand. “We’re worried, dear. You’re alone now.”

“In France. How would he know where I am?”

Albert sighed. “You never know. Didn’t you always say he was smarter than everyone gave him credit for?”

“I always said he was smarter than he gave himself credit for.”

“Maybe he finally realized it.”

“I think you’re being paranoid. I am safe.” She stood, taking her empty plate with her and pointing to her father’s. “You finished?”

He nodded and she took his plate to the sink. She cleaned everything in silence, feeling her parents’ concerned gaze on her back. A voice told her to let them worry about Sirius, no matter how foolish it was. _Then they can’t ask you about what’s really wrong. You won’t have to face the truth._

But she pushed the voice aside and decided to try to make peace with her parents. Turning, she smiled. “Who wants dessert?”

Sleep did not come easy that night. Amity tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable. But she knew the mattress wasn’t the problem. It was her.

The house was dark and quiet as Amity gave up, slipping from her bed. She tiptoed down the hallway to the kitchen, intent on getting something to drink. Warm milk seemed like a good option.

Pouring the milk into a glass, she pulled her wand from where she kept it in her sleeve. She cast the heating spell and warmed the milk to her desired temperature.

“Care to pour your father a glass as well?”

Amity turned to see her father standing in the doorway. She held out her glass. “Here, take this one. I can pour myself a new one.”  
He took it and sat down. Amity felt his eyes on her against as she prepared a new glass of warm milk. It made her nervous. She hoped her hand didn’t shake as she sat down at the table. “Couldn’t sleep either?”

“Nope. Guess it’s my old bones.”

“Or the fact you’re a light sleeper. You heard me, didn’t you?”

Her father looked down. “You got me.” After the admission, he looked back up to meet her eyes. “So, why are you up?”

Amity shrugged. “Sleep eludes me. Probably from traveling and the nap.”

“Probably.” He took a sip. “Do you have problems sleeping back in France?”

She shook her head. “I have no trouble. Maybe that’s it—I’m just not used to my old mattress.”

“Maybe.” They settled into another round of silence. Her father began drumming his fingers on the table.

Amity sighed. “Must you do that?”

“Yes. I guess you are used to quiet back in France. How do you handle it?”

“I leave the radio on when I need sound. Otherwise, I’m fine.”

“Are you lonely?”

She considered lying but decided against it. What good would it do? “Sometimes. It comes and goes. Depends, really.”

“Why don’t you move back to England? You’ll be closer to us. Maybe you won’t be too lonely then?”

Amity sighed. “I don’t know, Dad. I can’t just pick up my life and move here that easily.”

“Why not? You did it when you moved to France.”

“It was easier then. I was younger. My roots weren’t so deep.”

“And they are now too deep to uproot?”

Amity considered her answer. She wanted to say “yes” and end the conversation, knowing her father would respect it. But something held her back.

Her father sighed and patted her hand. “Guess that doesn’t help the sleeplessness. Sorry about that.” Leaning down, he kissed her forehead. “Night, sweetheart.”

“Good night, Daddy,” she said.

After depositing his empty glass in the sink, Albert left the room. His daughter remained where she was, staring at her cooling glass of milk.

The next day, Amity went out for a long walk after breakfast. She needed time to think and wanted to go somewhere quiet. From what she could tell, the area around her parents’ cottage hadn’t changed much since she was a child. There was a good chance her rock was still there.

It was a large gray boulder which rested on a bluff which overlooked a stream running about a mile from her house. She had gone there as a child when she wanted to get out of the house. The field was where her love of herbology had begun. Plants of all sorts competed for space amongst its grass. Amity had nicked one of her father’s books in order to start identifying them. Learning their different properties, which were beneficial and which were dangerous, fascinated her. She made notes about them while sitting atop the giant rock.

Amity sat down on the hard surface, taking a deep breath of chilled air. It was the same. The stream flowed below her, ice chunks floating amongst the water. Perfect thinking conditions. But her dream still haunted her. Yet again, she wished to have Kristin there to tell her what it meant.

She recalled their fourth year, about a year-and-a-half after Kristin started taking Divinations. Her penchant for deciphering dreams had become well-known around the school and students would approach her for answers. Some were sincere and others were just having a go. Kristin responded in accordance with their intentions.

There were students who were mean-spirited about the whole affair and to everyone’s surprise, they weren’t Slytherins. It was a group of Ravenclaws who found nothing academic in the study of Divinations. And they did everything in their power to have it removed from the Hogwarts curriculum, which included circulating a petition they planned to present to Dumbledore.

It was shown to her by a fellow member of the Wizard’s Chess Club, Bart, who had presented it to her with a quill. “You’ll sign this right? I know you’re a rational sort of person. You know there’s no merit to this course.”

Amity glanced up at him. “I think there is. So no, I’m not going to sign it.”

“Really?” The boy scoffed. “Thought you had more sense than that.”

“I’m more open-minded than you.”

His mouth dropped. “Is that your rationalization?”

“That’s my belief. Please, leave me alone and let’s finish the match.”

“Not until you sign my petition.”

Amity shook her head. “Blackmail isn’t going to work. And I doubt Professor McGonagall is going to be so understanding of why you’re holding up this match.”

They both glanced at the Head of Gryffindor House, who was sitting behind her desk watching the matches going on in the Transfiguration classroom. She was gazing in their direction, eyes narrowed and mouth frowning. Bart turned his attention back to the game. “Very sneaky. And I know why you are stalling. It’s because of your friend, Kristin. You don’t want her to lose the one class she’s good at, right?”

“Well now you’re talking out your arse.” Amity borrowed a phrase she had heard Sirius use throughout the years.

His face grew redder. “How dare you!”

“Kristin is one of the top students in my year. Yes, she has a gift for divinations but she also has a knack for potions. You might even try asking her to tutor you, given your potion grades from what I hear.”

“What? Where did you hear that?”

“Doesn’t matter.” Amity leaned back in her seat, a plan forming in her head. “How about we perform a little science experiment?”  
He raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Do go on.”

“Tomorrow, why don’t you ‘test’ Kristin? See how she does at this divination thing?”

“Deal.” He shook her hand.

Kristin was up for the challenge as well. “Let him do his worst! I’ll show him!”

“And I’ll be there to beat him up!” Sirius flexed his muscles before James cuffed him on the back of the head. He rubbed his sore head. “What was that for?”

“Being you,” James responded. The others snickered.

The next day, Bart approached the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall with a smug expression. Kristin was ready and appeared calm. Amity was the opposite; every fiber she possessed felt on fire. She hoped no one ended up going to infirmary after this so-called experiment.

“Kristin,” Bart said. She nodded and he continued. “Good. I had a strange dream last night. I was taking my Potions OWL and I was naked. Does that mean I’m going to somehow lose my clothes during the test?”

Kristin raised an eyebrow and Amity had to remind herself to breathe. Her friend leaned back. “How is that anything resembling a test? Dreams don’t always predict the future. Most times, they just reveal something about our subconscious and our feelings. In your dream, did people notice you were naked?”

“No, not really. But I did feel uncomfortable.”

She nodded. “Okay, well, I don’t need a third eye to decipher this one. You’re unprepared for the exam. And you’re nervous about it. Nothing more.”

The people around them snickered as Bart’s mouth fell open. He was speechless; Kristin was not. “If you want, I can get you a book all about interpreting dreams. It’ll help you. Can I get back to my meal?”

Bart walked away in a huff. A few days later, the petition was confiscated and Dumbledore made it clear that he had final say on what subjects were taught in Hogwarts. Divinations stayed in the curriculum.

_Dreams don’t always predict the future. Most times, they just reveal something about our subconscious and our feelings._ Kristin’s words echoed around Amity’s head. She sighed. _But what is my dream trying to tell me?_

_To move on, my love._ Michel’s voice filled her head. _Don’t stop your life because I’m not there. You still have so much to experience. Go out there!_

Amity sighed. She knew he was right. It was similar to some advice a kind older woman had given her after she had returned to work. _“You’re still young. You will love again. I know it.”_

It was possible, Amity knew. After all, she had found Michel after losing Remus. But could she expect three loves in one lifetime? Wouldn’t that be an embarrassment of riches? She couldn’t be selfish.

But she had to move on. Perhaps even leave France. It was a difficult decision and one she could not make on a whim. Elysia was still in school, especially heading into her last year. _Maybe I could work something out with Beauxbatons to let her stay…_ She sighed. That was only the first of a long list of things she had to think out. Perhaps she needed to talk things out with her parents. Sighing her umpteenth sigh of the day, she stood from the rock and returned home.

Her parents were little help. “You have to decide this on your own,” her father said as he patted her hand.

“Can’t I just talk it out and you listen? Please?”

Albert shook his head. “Afraid I can’t. Sorry, dear.”

Amity groaned as she leaned back in her chair. “So what am I to do now?”

He only shrugged in response. “Up to you. Good night, dear.” Albert kissed her forehead before leaving the room.

She put her head down on the table when she was alone, groaning. It was going to be a long night. But by the time morning rolled around, she knew what she was going to do.


	4. Bitter Reunions

### Chapter Four

It was amazing how fast one could reorganize one’s life. Amity had planned and prepared since she had made her decision back in January but nothing felt concrete. Felt real. But it changed once her entire life was in boxes, waiting to be shrunk down for the trip back to England. Photographs containing all her memories. Robes neatly folded. Furniture to be put into storage until she found a house of her own.

Her parents had offered to let her move back in, but Amity felt uncomfortable doing so. She preferred to have a place of her own, a small cottage somewhere. Like the Lupin house, where she had lived with Remus and baby Elysia. She knew it was hers; the Lupins had left it to her and Elysia in their will. But it felt wrong to go back there without Remus.

Dumbledore offered her lodging with the Order of the Phoenix. She didn’t know where, except that it was in London. Amity had never spent a good amount of time there, even when Kristin lived there. She had gotten pregnant not long after graduating from Hogwarts and wasn’t one for the nightlife of the city. That was the scene Kristin and Sirius preferred.

She stood in the doorway of her now empty house and took a deep breath. Memories swirled around her head, filling her with a bittersweet feeling. Happiness once dwelt here but now sadness and the ghost of Michel had moved in, chasing the happiness out. Amity hoped the family who moved in after her would be able to chase it away and create their own memories. She closed the door behind her and walked away.

*****

Dumbledore was waiting for her when she arrived in London via portkey. He smiled as she approached him, carrying the big bag in which she had shrunk all her other bags. But it weighed her shoulder and she knew she was lopsided. She hurried toward Dumbledore, praying no one noticed. “You didn’t have to come, Headmaster.”

“Of course I did. And you don’t have to call me Headmaster anymore, Amity. We’re colleagues now.”

“Well, technically, you’re my boss.”

Dumbledore chuckled, shaking his head. “Let’s not stand here arguing technicalities, shall we? Come, my dear.”

Tucking her hand under his arm, the two walked through the streets of London. She thought they made an interesting sight, with Dumbledore in his robes and long beard and she lugging an oversized bag. But he walked through as if they didn’t stand out at all, sharing interesting tidbits about London with her.

“Head…Dumbledore. Where exactly are we going?”

He patted her hand. “I’m afraid I can’t tell you just yet. But we are almost there, I promise.”

Amity hummed. “I’ve never been much of a city girl. It’ll take some getting used to.”

“Oh, I don’t think you’ll notice much. It’s a quiet section of the city, I’ve found.” Dumbledore stopped, looking around. “Here we are. Judge for yourself.”

Amity looked around the quiet block of townhouses. Cars lined the streets and she saw a bike in a nearby yard. Families lived in these neat houses. The thought calmed her for some reason.

“You ready?” Dumbledore asked. Amity nodded and he pressed a piece of paper into her hand. “Read it.”

Unfolding the paper, she glanced over the words: “The Order of the Phoenix is located at 12 Grimmauld Place.”

Once her mind processed the last word, she heard the sound of brick scraping against brick. She looked up to see two of the houses sliding apart as a third house came into view. It clicked into place and Amity scanned its faded façade for any signs of life. There was none and a chill coursed through her. “What is this place?”

“Your new home. Don’t worry, you’ll like it.” Dumbledore took her arm again and led her up the walk.

The inside of the house did little to assay her concerns. It was dark and cold, just like the outside. Amity began to have serious doubts about living here. _Note to self: find a new place and fast!_

“How did you find this place?” Amity hugged herself to warm herself up.

“It was offered to us by a member. I believe you know him.” There was a familiar twinkle in Dumbledore’s eyes. But for the first time, it didn’t put her at ease.

“Who is it?”

His smile only grew bigger. “Why don’t you go see for yourself?”

Dumbledore released her arm and took a few steps down the hall. Amity hesitated but slowly followed him. Laughter echoed down the hallway from the room at the very end. It seemed odd to hear it in this place.

“Mind your step, dear,” Dumbledore said, holding out a hand for her. She took it and let him guide her down into what she realized was the kitchens. To her right was a long wooden table with two long wooden benches on either side. Sitting there were two identical redheaded twin boys, grinning at whatever had been so funny. Across from them sat a young witch with bright pink hair who also grinned.

But the wizard seated next to her sent a chill through Amity. He was thinner than she remembered and his skin paler than before, but the shaggy black hair and gray eyes were unforgettable: Sirius Black. The man who had betrayed them all. The man who had caused the deaths of her best friends. The man who had once been her friend.

The man who ought to be locked up in Azkaban.

Amity grasped Dumbledore’s arm. “What is he doing here? Why haven’t you handed him to the authorities?”

He chuckled, patting a hand. “There’s more to the story than you know, my dear. Give him a chance to explain. Trust me.”

Nodding, Amity approached the table. Its occupants had gone silent and grown solemn in her presence. Sirius kept his eyes on her. “Amity Anderson. It’s good to see you.”

“Wish I could say the same for you.”

The twins squirmed. “I think that’s our cue to leave, Fred.” The one on the left clasped his brother’s shoulder and looked at the one woman at the table. “You coming, Tonks?”

She nodded, sliding out of the seat and joining the twins. As she walked past Amity, she tried to figure out why the woman’s name seemed so familiar.

But she pushed it down and sat across from Sirius. She crossed her arms, glaring at him. “Dumbledore said there’s more to the story. Start talking.”

He told her everything. About how Peter Pettigrew had been the secret keeper for James and Lily, how he had betrayed them to the Dark Lord. Then he had faked his own death, framing Sirius for it. Sirius was sent to Azkaban and spent the next twelve years working to keep himself sane. He escaped off the island to help save Harry and had been evading capture since then.

Amity shook her head. “I need time to process that. It’s a lot.”

“I don’t expect you to believe it. Not yet,” Sirius said, voice soft. He stood from the table. “I’ll give you time to think. Not like I can go far anyway.”

The sadness in his voice tugged at her heart. Despite her misgivings, she found herself asking: “Will you show me to my room?”

Sirius’ eyes lit up. “Gladly! Follow me.”

She followed him back into the dark, narrow hallway as questions swirled about her mind. About Peter. About Lily and James. About that night fifteen years ago. About…

Remus.

Amity let out a deep breath. She didn’t know what she wanted to know. Was knowing how he died going to help her? Or would it hurt all over again?

“Amity? Is everything all right?” Sirius waited on a step, looking down at her. She realized she was still on the landing and had probably been staring into space.

Shaking her head, Amity smiled. “Sorry. I’m fine, thank you. You really know your way around this place, huh?”

“I should. It’s my family home.”

Amity stopped again, glancing around her. Sirius had grown up in this dark place? No wonder he had wanted to escape it so badly when they were younger. “I’m so sorry.”

He shrugged. “That’s okay. It’s not so bad with the Order here. Molly does her best to make it homey.”

“Molly…?”

“Weasley. Maiden name Prewett.”

“Oh, the Prewetts. I know of them. Good family.” Amity nodded, resuming her climb up the stairs.

Sirius stopped on the second floor. “This is where all the bedrooms are.”

“Great. Which door’s mine?”

“That one there.” Sirius pointed to one in the distance. “Third one in.”

“Thanks, Sirius!” Amity felt like it was almost old times. She almost hugged Sirius but held back. There were still doubts about his story. And who knew how Azkaban changed him.

She stepped away from him, heading toward her room. Before she could reach there, though, another door opened. A man emerged from it and Amity stopped. He was thinner, his hair grayer and his face had more wrinkles but she recognized him. How could she not? She had shared her first kiss with him. Dated him for years. Agreed to marry him. Carried and bore his child. Mourned him.

And here he was, alive.

Remus Lupin.

“Amity,” he said, voice a whisper.

It snapped Amity out of her shocked state and she walked up to him. She was inches from him for the first time in years. His breath tickled her face. “Remus,” she said, voice even.

_Slap!_

The red mark rose up within seconds. She ignored the stinging sensation in her hand as she continued to glare at him. “You bastard,” she hissed.

She walked past him, not sparing him a second glance. Finding her room, she entered it and slammed the door. It was juvenile but she didn’t care. She deserved that one moment of immaturity.

Tears pricked her eyes and she tried to rub them away. It didn’t work. They were going to fall no matter how much she fought so she surrendered as she threw herself on the bed. Another time she sobbed into her pillow, but not from grief. These were tears of anger. Anger at being betrayed. Anger at the lost time with Remus. Anger at the fact their daughter didn’t get to know her father. Where had he been these past fifteen years? Why didn’t he contact her? Had he stopped loving her? Their daughter?

Amity sat up, rubbing her eyes, and pulled out her wand. “Accio, bag.”

The bag flew into her arms and she opened it. Resting on top was the photograph she took of her and Elysia that past Christmas. Mother and daughter huddled together, smiling as they tried to look merry. They looked identical but Amity saw some of Remus in their daughter. Her eyes came from him. As did her peacekeeping nature.

She lay down the picture frame on the bed, staring at Elysia. How was she supposed to tell that girl her father hadn’t been dead all these years? That he had chosen to stay away from her? How did a mother tell her daughter that?

Amity covered her face with her hands. Perhaps she should’ve stayed in France. Ignorance was bliss after all.

This called for a nap. Sleep often provided a chance to clear her mind. Amity hoped it worked again.

*****

She did feel better after her nap. No, she didn’t have all the answers. But she didn’t have to have them all now. No one was demanding them.

Taking a deep breath, she opened her door to head down to dinner. It was to be her first time having to talk with Remus. She was an adult. Adults had conversations with people they didn’t want to and remained polite.

People crowded the kitchen and Amity sighed in relief. There were enough people to ensure she didn’t have to talk to Remus if she didn’t want to. Or Sirius either. Not until she decided what she thought of his story. It was difficult to think Sirius would betray James and Lily. But it was also difficult to think the same of Peter. How could he have become a Death eater? Pledged to serve Voldemort?

“Amity? Is something wrong?” Remus’ soft voice interrupted her musings. It was familiar and comforting. The years melted away as Amity felt like they were together again.

But the reality came crashing back to her. She stepped away to put some space between them. “There is a lot wrong, Remus. I’m certain you know that.”

She walked away, taking deep breaths and side-stepping a concerned Sirius. There had to be someone who she could talk to and ignore the two men. Like that pink-haired woman from before. The one called “Tonks.” Amity believed she knew who the woman was, but she wanted confirmation.

“Tonks” was sitting at the table already, once again by the twins named Fred and George. All three laughed at something Amity had not heard. She pointed to a nearby chair. “Is this taken?”

The three shook their heads. “Please, have a seat. We like meeting new people,” the one she believed was called George said.

Amity slid into the seat. “Thanks. I like meeting new people too.”

“Wonderful! Then we all have something in common. That’s a good start, I’d say.” The other twin, Fred, winked at her.

“I’ll just ignore I have a daughter close to your age.”

Fred and George leaned closer. “Do tell.”

She raised an eyebrow. “I don’t quite like those looks. So, no.”

“Aww…” The twins looked disappointed as they pouted.

Amity shook her head and turned to Tonks. “I’m sorry, but your name sounds awfully familiar. Do I know your family?”

“Probably. My last name is Tonks. I prefer it to my first name, Nymphadora.”

“Nymphadora Tonks! Look at you—all grown up and with pink hair.” Amity motioned to the woman’s head. “How did you do that? Dye?”

She shook her head. “I’m a metamorphagus. Helps with being an Auror, I’ll say.”

“An Auror? Why does everyone go for the dangerous job?” Amity sighed, shaking her head. She turned to Fred and George. “You two Aurors as well?”

They shook their heads. “We run a joke shop,” Fred said.

“We call it Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes,” George added. “It’s very popular.”

“Extremely popular.” Fred nodded.

Amity smiled. “I’ll have to stop by one day.”

“With your daughter?”

“Absolutely not.” She kept her voice firm. They leaned back, pouting, as she turned to Tonks again. “So, tell me everything.”

“Everything is a lot.” Tonks laughed. “Care to narrow it down?”

“I don’t know if I can!” Amity shook her head. “Okay, let’s start with your parents. How are they?”

“They’re fine. Mum’s nervous about my job choice and Dad’s not happy having to fight Voldemort again.”

“Understandable. I don’t think anyone is.”

Tonks nodded. “I can tell who went through the first war by how tired and nervous they are. Not that those of us who weren’t there are particularly eager to fight, that is.”

“Of course,” Amity agreed. They moved on to more pleasant topics and the twins added their thoughts every so often.

After dinner, people began to disperse and some headed home. Unsure what to do, Amity remained where she was. Molly approached her. “Do you want some tea?”

“Tea sounds good.” Amity sighed. “Very good, in fact.”

“I’ll be right back. You just stay there.”

Amity hadn’t planned on doing anything else. The kitchen grew quieter and she was left alone with her thoughts. She had gotten through this meal. But what about the next? And the one after that? Could she make it to September? Or would she go mad?

“Care to talk?” Molly placed a cup in front of her before sitting down at the table. “I am a good listener.”

Amity smiled as she took a sip. “Thank you, but I don’t think you can help. It’s something I have to work through alone.”

“But sometimes it helps to talk things through with someone else. Especially if that person doesn’t have a stake in your problems.” Molly smiled. “So go ahead.”

But Amity resisted, shaking her head. “Thanks but I’m afraid I can’t. It’s very complicated. And very personal. So I don’t feel comfortable discussing it with you. Sorry.”

Molly waved her off. “No need to apologize. Your business is your business. I was just offering a sympathetic ear. And it’s always available whenever you need.”

“Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind.” She pushed herself back from the table, taking her mug. “I’ll see you in the morning?”

“Yes, dear. Breakfast is at eight. You want anything in particular?”

Amity shrugged. “Whatever you make will be good, I’m sure. Thank you.”

“All right, dear. It was nice meeting you.” Molly smiled. “Good night.”

*****

She didn’t have a good night. It wasn’t that the bed wasn’t comfortable. Amity thought the mattress was the softest thing she had ever slept on. The blankets were also very warm as the house was always cold. She had learned that very quickly and believed it was just from Sirius’ relatives. They always seemed to be a cold lot from his tales. No doubt the house had absorbed it.

But the temperature didn’t bother her nor did the atmosphere. It was Remus. The fact he was still alive. And the fact he never came for her or Elysia. Why? Did he stop loving them? Had she done something wrong?

The guilt plagued her all night as she drifted in and out of sleep. Her dreams, when she dreamed, were odd and discomforting but forgotten upon awaking. Only the feelings remained and were difficult to shrug off. So she was staring at the ceiling as the first rays of dawn crept through the curtains.

But then it hit her. She had nothing to be guilty about. Neither she nor Elysia had done anything wrong. Remus had abandoned them. For reasons that probably weren’t good enough. So she wasn’t interested in hearing them.

Getting up, she felt refreshed and like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Time to start the day.

Amity changed into a fresh robe and decided to go see if Molly had started breakfast. Nothing had wafted up her way yet but it didn’t mean anything. It probably took things a lot of time to travel in this expansive house.

When she stepped into the hallway, she contemplated darting back into her room. Remus had been an early riser for as long as she had known him. How had she forgotten? _Because he’s been dead for years as far as you knew. Why would you remember a dead man’s schedule?_ asked a voice in her head.

Amity took a deep breath, debating her options. She could walk past and ignore him. Or she could acknowledge him, as an adult would. And darting back into her room was always an option. Decisions, decisions.

The decision was made for her when Remus spotted her. He walked toward her and she was rooted to the ground, unable to move. As he approached, she tried to calm her out-of-control heartbeat. _Stay calm. You can do this. Breathe._

“Good morning, Amity.”

“Morning, Remus. Sleep well?” She could tell, though, from the dark circles under his eyes that the answer was no.

He shrugged. “The usual. Some nights are better than others.”

“So was last night a better one?” Amity found herself asking the question before she could stop herself. _Why engage him in a polite conversation? A good morning was enough! You could’ve just walked away, but no. You had to go and lengthen your time with him. Good job._

Remus shrugged again. “Haven’t decided yet.” He brightened up. “How was your night?”  
“It was fine.” _Good. Now walk away. Do it._ But her legs didn’t obey. Neither did her vocal chords for she found herself adding: “Thanks for asking.”

“Are you heading downstairs? Care to walk with me?” He motioned to the stairs.

_No!_ “I guess so. We are heading in the same direction.” _Idiot!_

The two started to walk, awkward silence descending upon them. Amity racked her brain for something to say but every time she found a topic, the little voice in her head shut her down. _You don’t have to say anything. He doesn’t deserve a conversation._

“I think we need to talk, Amity.” Remus’ voice was low, almost a whisper. She didn’t know why. There was no one around to overhear them.

“Do we?”

“Amity…” With a sigh, Remus stopped walking. “I think I owe you an explanation.”

“You owed me an explanation. Fifteen years ago. I think the time’s passed for explanations, Remus.” She crossed her arms.

He nodded. “You’re right.”

“Don’t do that. You’re just agreeing with me because you feel guilty.”

“I’m agreeing because you’re right.”

“And not because you feel guilty?”

Remus sighed. “Perhaps it is both, if that is possible.”

“It is,” Amity conceded.

“Good, a starting point.”

“For what?”

“For our discussion.”

“We are not having a discussion!” _Good! Now walk away!_

She didn’t and so Remus continued. “I need to tell you why…why I never came back.”

Amity sighed. “Since you seemed so determined, go ahead.”

“Thank you.” Remus took a deep breath. “I didn’t look for you because I wanted you to have a better life.”

_Not this song and dance again._ “My life was fine with you. I was happy, Elysia was happy. And I thought you were happy.”

“I was happy. But I was guilty. You two could have so much more without me. You have had so much more without me. Haven’t you?”

“No.” It was the truth. With Michel, she had a loving husband and a healthy daughter. They had a roof over their heads and food on their table. She had all of that with Remus. Perhaps she had a bit more money to spend than when she was with Remus, but that wasn’t what mattered. “I had the same, more or less.”

“Oh.”

“Oh? That’s all you can say?” Anger swelled up inside her. “Fifteen years, Remus! I thought you were dead. I mourned you! I had to watch our daughter grow up without you! Do you know how painful that was?”

Remus didn’t respond. It didn’t matter. Everything was flowing out of Amity now. “And now you prance back into my life! Everything I went through was a lie! And that hurts! Everything you missed is playing in my mind. Everything Elysia missed sharing with you as well! And all because of an old insecurity I thought you had gotten past!”

“It’s not insecurity! It’s reality.” Remus was growing red. “Life for werewolves is difficult. I couldn’t ask you to live like that.”

“You did, remember? _You_ proposed to me. I chose to love you! I chose to live that life with you. You did not have the right to decide I didn’t anymore.”

“I was saving…”

“No!” Amity was yelling now but she didn’t care. “You were being selfish!”

With that, she stormed off.


	5. A Time to Think

### Chapter Five 

After breakfast, Amity returned to her room and packed a bag. She needed to leave and calm down. But she couldn’t do that here. Not with Remus haunting the halls. Or Sirius. Not that he had said anything to her, but she knew he would come down on Remus’ side. He was loyal to his friends and Remus was his only one left, what with James’ death and the fact she still didn’t believe he was innocent. And no doubt Kristin didn’t believe him either…

Standing up, Amity sighed. Kristin. In everything that had been going on, she had forgotten about her best friend. How awful a friend was she? But she couldn’t contact Kristin just yet. Not until she got everything sorted out.

Bag packed, Amity headed for a spot to apparate to her parents’ house. It was the best place to think. And if she could explain it to her parents, she could explain the situation to anyone. Including her teenage daughter.

She didn’t want to think about that right now. To be honest, she didn’t want to think about anything right now. All she wanted to do was go away. Far away.

Thankfully, her parents didn’t ask any questions when she arrived on their doorstep without warning. Instead, her mother ushered her in and set the kettle on the stove. “Have a seat. Are you hungry?”

Amity shook her head. “Had a big breakfast. Thanks anyway.”

“If you say so.” Her mother pulled out two mugs. “So, not that I’m not glad to see you, but what brings you back so soon? Did something happen? Are you okay?”

Sighing, Amity told her mother everything that had happened. When she was done, Anita shook her head. “I can’t believe it. Remus has been alive this entire time?”

Amity nodded. “He thought Elysia and I had better lives in France. More opportunities without…well, without him.”

“Without the stigma of being with a werewolf, you mean.”

“Well…yes.”

Her mother sighed. “Sounds like Remus. Always thinking he wasn’t good enough. Poor man, it’s a shame what society has done to his self worth and confidence.”

“I know. But that’s no excuse for what he did. For what he put Elysia and I through?”

“No, of course not. It is not worth that pain. He should’ve remained in his daughter’s life, talked to you about your lives together.” She took her daughter’s hand and squeezed it. “You calm down here. Process everything. Your father and I will leave you alone.”

Amity snorted. “Doubtful. But thanks.”

“Whatever you need, you let me know. Got it?” After her daughter nodded, Anita continued. “Good. Now go get some rest. You look like you need it.”

_Something was up. The Marauders had spent the past few nights huddled in a corner of the common room, whispering. Everyone knew they were plotting something. And that was never good._

_“What do you think it is?” Amity jumped at Kristin’s voice. She had been so focused on the Marauders, she had forgotten she wasn’t alone._

_Amity turned to face her friend. “I don’t think we want to know. It’s better that way.”_

_“I have to agree.” Lily plopped down between her two friends. “The farther away we are, the better off we are.”_

_Kristin shrugged. “I guess. Still…”_

_“Curiosity killed the cat,” Lily said._

_But Kristin was ready. “And satisfaction brought it back.”_

_Amity and Lily rolled their eyes. “Did you have to?” Lily asked._

_While her friends bickered, Amity returned to her Charms homework. But she couldn’t concentrate. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end and she felt a chill course through her. She knew what it was._

_She was being watched._

_Amity lifted her head to find all the Marauders staring at her. She elbowed Kristin and motioned toward the boys with her head. “Should I be worried?”_

_Kristin and Lily frowned. “Maybe,” Kristin said. “But don’t worry. We’ll protect you. Right, Lily?”_

_“Always. Though I don’t think you’ll need us today. It’s only Remus. He’s pretty harmless.”_

_They were right. He may have done his share of pranks, but Remus wouldn’t do anything to the girls. Lupin proved that chivalry wasn’t dead yet._

_He stopped in front of them, tugging at his robes. Kristin glanced up at him. “Can we help you?”_

_“Um, well, I was wondering…Amity, can we talk?” Remus looked at her and she swore he was holding his breath._

_She glanced at her friends, who nodded. Amity looked back at him. “Okay. Where do you want to go?”_

_“The couch in the corner is free. If you like…”_

_“It’s fine,” Amity said quickly. She felt like Remus had been building courage to ask her something and she didn’t want him to talk himself out of it. It was something she had seen him do many times before in the course of their friendship._

_They sat on the couch and an awkward silence ensued. Amity played with a loose string hanging from her hem, waiting for him to say something._

_Remus shifted beside her. “So, I was thinking…Umm…”_

_“Yes?”_

_“This weekend’s a Hogsmeade one, right?”_

_“It is.” Amity wondered where he was going._

_“So, I was wondering…would you like to go with me?”_

_“To Hogsmeade?” He nodded. “Like on a date?” Another nod. “Yes.”_

_“I understand. Thanks anyway.” Remus stood, stepping away from the couch. He paused, glancing over his shoulder. “Wait. Did you say yes?”_

_“Yes, I did.”_

_Remus laughed, his eyes glowing. “That’s…That’s great! I’ll, uh, see you then.”_

_He ran back over to the other Marauders, who huddled around him. After he gave a nod, they cheered and slapped him on the back. It brought a smile to her face and she returned to her friends to tell them the news:_

_She had a date with Remus Lupin._

Amity awoke about an hour later, stretching out in her bed. The nap felt good though she believed she hadn’t napped this much since her pregnancy.

Swinging her legs out of the bed, Amity looked at the framed photographs on the side of her bed. Most were from her school days. Including one from that first date with Remus. James had snuck a camera along and agreed to take our picture. He was like a proud father capturing his child’s first date. The two posed in front of the candy store, smiling and trying to pretend it wasn’t awkward at all.

Amity picked up the photograph, looking at it. Her younger self squirmed, unsure what to do in the photograph. Remus looked just as unsure. How innocent they were then! She wished she could go back to that moment. Before Voldemort. Before adult problems weighed them down. Before Remus decided to play dead.

Opening a drawer, she put the photograph inside. Just for now, she promised herself. Until she stopped being angry with Remus. She couldn’t look at him. It wouldn’t help her put him out of her mind in order to calm down.

With a deep breath, she left her room.

That night, her father asked her to join him on a walk. “It’s such a lovely night. It should be enjoyed. Don’t you agree, Amity?”

She knew better. It was her father’s code for “I want to talk without your mother hearing.” Amity grabbed a sweater and went outside with him.

For some time, they did walk in silence to enjoy the beautiful night. They approached her rock and her father sat down on it. He patted a spot next to him for her to take. “Your mother told me about Remus.”

“I figured.”

“It’s a shock. I’m of half a mind to go up to London and tear him apart, like I promised him I would back when you brought him home and introduced him as your boyfriend.”

Amity smiled. She remembered how pale Remus had looked after his conversation with her father. It had taken a lot of prodding to get him to tell her what had happened. She had gone home and yelled at her father for being mean to her boyfriend. How could she predict Remus would hurt her back then?

She turned to her father. “So why aren’t you?”

“Too far for this time of the day. And I thought about Elysia. How would she feel if I explained I killed her father after it turned out he wasn’t really dead?”

This time, Amity laughed. Her father always had a way of cheering her up. “Thanks, Dad. I needed that. Though that does remind me about my daughter. How am I going to explain this to her?”

“You’ll figure it out. I have faith in you.” Albert hugged his daughter. “But for now…What are you going to do about Remus?”

Amity sighed. “Good question. I don’t know. I know I can’t ignore him but I don’t want to see him either.”

“Understandable.”

“What do you think I should do?”

“I can’t tell you that, I’m afraid. It’s something you have to figure out on your own.” Her father hugged her again. “Sorry.”

They sat on the rock for a little while longer, watching the stars.

Amity returned to 12 Grimmauld Place after the weekend at her parents. She still had no answers about how to proceed with Remus, but she did feel better. And she decided she was going to get to know some of the other members of the Order. There were several new people willing to take down Voldemort and she needed to meet new people. It was part of her “new life” plan.

So she sought out Tonks first. After all, she had a connection with the young woman already. And she enjoyed their conversation a few days ago.

Instead, she ran into Sirius. He was sitting at the kitchen table, reading a cookbook. A mug before him, steam still rising from the tea inside. _Molly must’ve been in here recently. Maybe I can find her. I have been meaning to talk to her._

She tried to back out of the kitchen without making a sound but Sirius glanced up, smiling. “Oh, good! Company!”

The way he said the word “company” broke her heart. Sirius was a social man, always had been. Perhaps it was due to his upbringing. He was ignored by his parents so he surrounded himself with people all the time. _Azkaban must’ve been torture for him. The least I can do is talk with him for a little bit._

Amity forced herself to smile as she sat down. “A cookbook? Interesting reading for you.”

“I need a hobby. Getting cabin fever locked up in here, unable to go anywhere.” Sirius sighed. “So I thought I’d try cooking. Kiki got me the books.”

Kristin. Her stomach sank at the thought of her best friend. She should’ve contacted her by now. Promising herself to do that later, Amity returned her attention to Sirius. “So, why can’t you move about freely? Aren’t you innocent?”

Sirius sighed, closing his book. “Peter’s in the wind. Can’t prove I didn’t kill him if I can’t show he’s alive.”

“Oh.” Amity wanted to hit herself. “Sorry.”

He shook his head. “No, I’m sorry. I know you still don’t know whether to believe my story or not. I shouldn’t have been so snippy.”

“It’s difficult, Sirius.”

“Why? We were friends. What did I ever do to make you think I could kill my best friend, his wife and their son?”

She crossed her arms. “I recall an incident in our fifth year…”

“Not that again!” Sirius grabbed his hair. “It was a stupid mistake. A stupid, stupid, stupid decision made by a stupid, stupid, stupid boy. I grew up. I’ll admit I still made stupid mistakes, but I wasn’t stupid enough to be seduced by the Dark Arts. Not after my childhood.”

Amity glanced around the place. The kitchen was the one room in the house that felt homey. She suspected Molly played a role in that, though, given the state of the rest of the house. It was cold and dark. Evil clung to every rafter. She looked back at Sirius. “I see your point about that.”

“Thank you.” Sirius did not smile, remaining serious. “But you still don’t believe me.”

She shook her head. “I’m sorry. I’m trying, because I want to. Because we were friends. And I hate having to think you did something so…awful. The same with Peter.”

“I know. And because you weren’t directly involved back then, you aren’t used to it. Suspecting your friends. Except Peter. He always managed to escape our suspicion. He was better than we gave him credit for.” Sirius’s voice was low, as if he was talking to himself.

Amity shifted in her seat, unsure what to do next. Perhaps she could make a break for it and go find Molly, like she had intended. But she couldn’t leave Sirius like this. He was so depressed.

Reaching across the table, she took his hand. “It must’ve been difficult for you, in Azkaban.”

“It was. But I don’t want to burden you with those memories. No one should be.” His voice was low again.

Amity sighed. “Sirius, I don’t want to promise something I can’t keep. But I will keep working to figure out everything. And I hope that it ends with us as friends again.”

“I hope so as well.” Sirius sighed as he pulled his hand from her grasp. “I should’ve known it was going to be as easy as it was with Kiki.”

Kristin. Yet another reminder of how poor a friend she had been since returning to the United Kingdom. As she filed away a reminder to write to Kristin in the back of her mind, Amity continued to focus on Sirius. “Well, of course, it would be easy with her. She always thought the best of you.”

She stopped before she revealed anything more. But Sirius chuckled. “Because she loves me?”

“She told you?” Amity’s mouth fell open. “Really?”

Sirius shook his head. “I figured it out. And then she told me she didn’t love me anymore. At least not like that.”

“Oh?”

“It’s a long story. And probably one that’s not mine to tell.”

Amity leaned back, crossing her arms. “Sirius Black, look at you. You’ve grown up.”

“Being falsely accused and imprisoned can do that to a man.” Sirius’ voice was hard again. Amity reached across and took his hand as silence descended upon them. But she didn’t look to make an escape this time. No, she was content to sit here with him for now.

After awhile, she motioned to the cookbook. “So, what’s your favorite recipe?”

Sirius chuckled and reached for the book. “I have two, though I haven’t tried to make them yet…”

Amity climbed the stairs to her room, smiling. It was good to spend some time with Sirius. She figured it was the only way she could figure out the truth about him. Now, she was leaning toward believing him.

She passed by Remus’ door, forcing herself not to look at it. He was the last person she wanted to see. Amity even went past it on tiptoe so as not to alert him to her presence. She slipped into her room and sighed in relief.

There was a desk in her room. She had thrown an unpacked bag on top of the desk after moving in and it was still there. It was time to fix that, she decided. She needed a desk to prepare her lessons and send a letter to Kristin. And it was a good distraction. Just what she needed.

Once everything was unpacked, she slid into the chair and pulled out a piece of paper. Her quill and ink were new, a present to herself. She loved the feel of new quills. And the sound of a sharpened quill tip on parchment as she scratched out her letter to Kristin.

The ink dried and Amity waved her wand over the note to make sure it wouldn’t smudge in transport. She folded it up and sealed it. In the morning, she would hire an owl to deliver it. Amity could not wait for the response.

It felt like an eternity waiting for Kristin’s response. Amity tried to keep herself busy by any means necessary. Her room had never been so clean. She was tempted to take a picture to show her mother. Who would pass out from shock, she had no doubt. Amity was never one for being neat.

She wanted to give Kristin enough time to compose a response before she went to check the owlery where she rented her messenger. And so the owner didn’t think she was a crazed person.

But she caved. She went down to the owlery to check for a message. The man who owned the place smiled as she entered. “Perfect timing! The owl you rented just returned.”

“With a message?”

He nodded, pulled out a sealed piece of parchment. “Here you go. Hope it is good news.”

“Me too. Thank you.” Amity tipped the man and left the owlery.

Back in 12 Grimmauld Place, in the safety of her room, she broke the seal and unfolded the letter. Kristin’s neat handwriting filled the page.

_Dear Amity,_

_It was so good to hear from you! And do not worry about the lack of communication. The way I see it, it is a two-way street so I share some of the blame there. So let’s make up for it, shall we?_

_I’m back in Kent, with Mum, helping tend to the store. And I’m enjoying myself. Though I think Mad-Eye would rather I rejoin the Auror Corps. But I can’t. And I know you know why._

_Do you remember Minnie’s Café? In London? I checked and it’s still there! Meet me there, please. Good food and good company, right?_

_I can’t wait to see you!_

_Your friend,_  
 _Kristin_

She sat back. Kristin didn’t sound angry with her. That was a good sign. And she wanted to see her. Which was another good sign. She would be there.


	6. Kristin

### Chapter Six

### 

Finding her way from Grimmauld Place to Minnie’s Café was a bit tricky. Amity carried around a map, feeling like a tourist. She had never taken to London and was now paying for it. As she hurried down a street, she wished she had chosen to meet her friend in Kent instead. She had always loved going to visit Kristin there. 

Going to Kristin’s house was always a treat for Amity. She loved her parents but it was nice to visit someone else’s house. And it meant getting to see her friends during the long summer holiday, outside of school and the other five girls with whom they shared a room at Hogwarts. It wasn’t anything against them—they had very nice roommates—but it was hard to talk amongst the three of them without someone else interjecting her opinion.

The visits were their best chance to do so. For the most part, they were left alone by parents and siblings. Lily's sister Petunia was too afraid of being turned into a frog while Kristin's brother Michael did his best to keep Justin out of their hair. As an only child, though, Amity liked spending time around them.

Even when things went downhill for Richard Wright, she and Lily were always welcomed. He did his best to remain cheerful as his energy waned and his weight dropped. Amity felt like he considered them his daughters as well. It was a nice feeling.

_She knocked on Kristin’s door. Justin opened it and rolled his eyes. “Another sleepover? Weren’t you two just here?”_

__

_“Justin, let her in or I’m telling Mama you’re not being nice to my friends!” Kristin appeared behind her brother, scowling._

__

__

_Justin stepped aside, muttering under his breath, letting Amity in. Kristin engulfed her in a hug. “I’m so glad you’re here. Let’s go put your stuff in my room.”_

_She swooped down to pick up Amity’s bag and started climbing the stairs. Amity followed, trying to be as quiet as possible. Richard was no doubt sleeping. He did that a lot these days as his fight with his cancer grew more difficult._

_“Kristin? Is that you?” Richard’s voice echoed from a nearby room. It was shaky but stronger than the last time Amity visited._

_The two peeked into his room. He was sitting up in bed, propped by several white pillows. It still startled her to see him without any hair. When she had first met him, he had thick dark hair that Kristin had confessed she used to love to brush it when she was little. But he had chosen to shave it off before the disease robbed him of it._

_He smiled. “Amity! Good to see you again. Going to have fun this weekend?”_

_“Yes, sir.” She smiled._

_Richard shook his head. “What have I said about calling me ‘sir’?”_

_“Sorry. Habit.” She ducked her head, sheepish._

_“Well, you girls run along and have fun. And Kristin? If your brothers give you problems, let me know. I’ll set them right.” Her father nodded as the girls laughed._

_Kristin opened her door and placed Amity’s things down by the bed. “Feel free to set up wherever. Lily can have whatever spot is left over.”_

_“Thanks.” Amity began unpacking her items. “Your dad seems to be in a good mood.”_

_“Today, yeah.” Kristin shrugged. “He has his good days. And even on his bad days, he pretends. I’m not sure for whom—us or him. Maybe both. I don’t know.”_

_Amity put down her nightgown to hug her friend. Kristin melted into it, which Amity understood. She didn’t know what it was like to see one’s father so sick. To see him lose his strength, to grow so thin, and to know you could not do anything about it—it must’ve been horrible. All she could do was try to be there for Kristin._

_Knocking downstairs ended their hug. “That must be Lily!” Kristin said. “Time to really begin our weekend sleepover!”_

_She turned and ran down the stairs, pushing Justin out of the way. He rolled his eyes again before going back to his room. As he passed Amity, he pushed into her so she hit the wall. “Being Kristin's friend doesn't give you special treatment. Stay out of my way!”_

_“JUSTIN WRIGHT! Get in here now!” Richard’s voice thundered from his room. Justin’s face paled and his condescending demeanor melted away. In its place was a scared young boy about to face his father's wrath. He slunk off as Lily and Kristin bounded up the stairs._

_Lily threw her arms around Amity. “It’s so good to see you!”_

_“We were just at your house a couple weeks ago!” Amity laughed as she hugged her friend back._

_“But it seems like so much longer! Doesn’t it, Kristin?” Lily glanced over her shoulder at their friend._

_Kristin nodded before hugging her friends. “I love you guys!”_

_“Girls! Wash up! Dinner’s almost ready. Same goes for you boys. Move it!” Philomena’s voice carried throughout the house. Everyone jumped, scrambling over each other to get to the bathroom. The Wright siblings were used to this fight, a continuing war between two brothers and their sister. Lily was used to a similar fight with Petunia. Amity was the only one without experience of fighting for the bathroom. The shoving, the name calling, the running. She liked it, though only because she got it in small doses._

_Justin and Kristin elbowed each other. “Let me through. You girls will take all day in there. Right, Michael?”_

_Everyone turned to look at Kristin’s older brother. But Michael shook his head. “I can wait. Ladies first. So stand back.”_

_Lily and Amity often envied Kristin’s relationship with her oldest brother. They were close and though they fought, always had each other’s backs. Petunia ignored Lily and would probably throw her to the wolves if it saved her skin. And Amity had no one else. It would’ve been nice._

_As long as it didn't include Justin, who gave them the stink eye yet again but listened to his brother. He sulked by Michael's side as Lily ran into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Amity and Kristin waited outside, silence settling over the two groups._

_The seconds ticked by, marked by Justin's loud sighs. But the girls ignored him while Michael punched him in the arm. But it didn’t calm him down any. He just sighed louder._

_“Justin, that better not be you! Or do you want to go for a world record on lectures in one day?” Richard’s voice once again thundered down the hall._

_Everyone flinched hearing it but Justin stopped his sighing. Lily left the bathroom and Kristin shoved Amity inside. “Your turn!"_

_When she stepped out again, Justin was gone. Kristin shrugged. "Dad sent him downstairs to wash up in the kitchen. Warning--Mum is not going to be happy about that. Lily's already down there, so's Michael. He went down to make sure Justin did as he was told. You go. I'll be down in a minute."_

_Amity glanced at the stairs but shook her head. "I can wait. You're worth it."_

*****

Amity arrived at Minnie’s Café first, as she had left a lot of time in case she got lost. But it didn’t matter. Kristin was still worth waiting for.

Or was she? Fifteen years was a long time. Who knew how she had changed? There was little chance she was the same Kristin Amity remembered. Would they even have anything to talk about?

“Amity! Over here!” Kristin ran down the street, smiling. Rio had been good to her. Her skin was a nice golden color and her dark hair fell in soft curls around her face. She wore Muggle clothing, a nice beige shirt paired with a beige skirt. Amity still preferred her robes but made a mental note to go shopping with Kristin for some Muggle clothes. She felt awkward when she had to wear them, like now. After a long search, she had settled on a simple black dress and hoped she looked fine. “Kristin!”

The two embraced and Kristin suggested going inside. Once settled at their table, Amity decided to start the conversation. “You look good.”

“Thank you. So do you. France has been good to you," Kristin said with a smile.

“The same for Rio and you!” She glanced down at her friend’s arm. “You’re tan!”

Kristin laughed. “I know. I was surprised myself. But I like it now. And I’m afraid I’m going to lose it now that I’m back here in England. You think they have tanning salons here in London?”

“Tanning what?” Amity sometimes forgot how much more entrenched in the Muggle world Kristin was than she.

Kristin shook her head. “Never mind. But one day, I have to take you to the beaches in Rio. You’d love them!”

“Tell me more!” Amity leaned forward. “I want to hear everything about Rio!”

“Okay, okay. Where do you want me to start?”

“The beginning? Why did you want to go?” Amity rested against the back of her chair, settling in for what she believed was a good story.

Kristin sighed. “I guess that’s a good place. So, after we lost Lily and James and Sirius went to prison, I couldn’t stand to stay in the Wizarding World. I sought comfort in the Muggle one instead. And then I realized I had to leave England. Brazil seemed far enough.”

She continued on, explaining everything that had happened to her in fifteen years. Amity listened, entranced. It sounded so…exotic. So exciting, the life of a single person without children.

“And now you’re back?” Amity asked.

Kristin nodded. “Working in the store to help Michael. It’s fun. I had forgotten how much.”

“I’m sure your mother is glad to have you back.”

“Over the moon.” Kristin took a sip of her water. “You should visit. She’d love to see you and Elysia. Speaking of her, where is she?”

“In France, with some friends. She’ll be here soon.”

“I can’t wait to see her. Tell me everything!” Kristin was bouncing in her seat, which made Amity smile.

She held up her hands. “Calm down. You’re like a toddler on a sugar high.”

“Sorry. I’m just excited.” Kristin took a few calming breaths. “Okay, go ahead.”

Amity told Kristin everything about France, especially stories about Elysia as a child. Kristin hung on her every word, propping her chin on her hand. Her elbow rested on the table. It felt good to tell her friend about her life in France. Including the not so good parts. Namely Michel’s death.

Kristin took her hand. “I’m so sorry for your loss. I know those words must sound so hollow, but I really am. He sounded like a great man.”

“He was.” Amity swallowed down a lump in her throat. Tears pricked her eyes. “I wish you could’ve met him.”

They sat in silence, Amity’s grief fresh again. She took a few deep breaths, waiting for her emotions to get under control. “Well, sorry about that.”

“Don’t be. You’re allowed to grieve, no matter how long it’s been. I still tear up when I think about my father or Lily and James. Especially Lily and James.”

“Me too.” The tears returned. “Oh, drat. You’re making me cry again.”

Kristin handed her a napkin. “Sorry.”

“Not your fault.” She wiped her eyes.

“Good idea. I have an even better one. Let’s get out of here. Do something more…upbeat.” Kristin raised her arm. “Check!”

*****

They returned to 12 Grimmauld Place later that day. No one was downstairs, allowing them to go up to Amity’s room in peace. But Amity noticed as they passed Remus’ door that Kristin glanced at it, concerned. It was fleeting but it did make her curious. She pushed it away as they walked into her room.

Kristin stopped once they crossed the threshold, looking around. “It’s neat in here. That has to be a first.”

“Being a housewife changed me.”

Kristin raised an eyebrow. “You got bored, didn’t you?”

“So very bored.” Amity sighed, collapsing on her bed. “Is it September yet?”

“No. Now where’s that picture book?”

Amity laughed. “Fine. You’re so impatient.”

She hopped off the bed, going to a suitcase she hadn’t unpacked yet. Opening it, Amity pulled out the book. “Here it is. I’ve kept it pretty well over the years. Lily would be so proud.”

“She would’ve.” Kristin sat up, allowing Amity to slide the book onto her lap. “Let’s take a look.”

She looked at every picture on every page, wanting to know the story behind every one. This gave Amity pause as some she had forgotten. Her heart ached at the thought that any moment with Michel was lost to her. She studied the pictures, hoping the memory would come back. They never did.

But Kristin never questioned her pauses. She just moved onto the next picture when Amity was finished.

She reached the last picture. Elysia stood on a Quidditch field, wearing her Beauxbatons uniform. The long blue shirt clung to her daughter’s tall frame, a fleur-de-lis visible over her heart. She held her chaser equipment in her hand, laughing at someone out of frame.

“She looks a lot like you,” Kristin said.

“Yeah, but she has Remus’ eyes.” Amity’s voice was soft. “So wise and so kind.”

“And so alive.”

“There’s that.” Amity closed the book with a sigh. “He is alive. And I don’t even know how to tell my daughter. Our daughter.”

“I’ll help in any way I can. Just tell me.”

“A vacation would help.”

“I still have my place in Rio if you want.”

Amity laughed. “Thanks but that seems a bit far away right now.”

“True.” Kristin shrugged. “How about Kent?”

“I could do Kent.” She sighed again. “I’m probably going to have to talk to him, aren’t I?”

“Well…”

“No, no.” Amity sat up. “I have to be an adult about this. I should go talk to him.”

Kristin sat up as well. “You’re right. I’ll go with you.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Yeah, I do. Remus has been…well, he locked himself in his room.”

Amity sighed. “I see. Lead the way.”

*****

Kristin had been gone for a while. Amity leaned against a wall outside Remus’ room, watching the door and waiting. What was happening in there? Had they killed each other? No, Remus wasn’t like that. So had Kristin killed him?

Amity pushed herself off the wall and squared her shoulders. She was going in to inspect the carnage.

Inside, it wasn’t as bad as she worried. Remus and Kristin stood facing each other, smiling. Relief flowed through her.

Until she saw Remus’ current state. He wore a ratty t-shirt and fade pajamas under a tattered beige bathrobe. His graying brown hair looked uncombed and wild. Stubble covered his face, the start of a gray beard. Dark bags framed his eyes. It was worse than she thought.

She stepped forward. “Hello, Remus.”

“Amity.” His voice was coarse, like he hadn’t used it.

Kristin looked between the two of them. “I’ll leave you two alone. See you two later. Hopefully.”

She closed the door behind her and the two lapsed into silence. Amity decided to be the one to break it. “Sulking again?”

“Is it that obvious?” His lips twitched as he fought a smile.

Amity shrugged. “Just a little bit.”

“I could be sick.” He gave a fake cough.

“That was pathetic. And I know you better than that. Even after all these years.”

He looked down. She knew what that meant. He didn’t want to meet her eyes because he was ashamed. And he should be. But he didn’t have to punish himself like this. It didn’t do anyone any good.

She sat down on his bed and patted the spot next to him. He obliged, though keeping space between them. But Amity took his hand. “Look, I’m still angry with you. And I probably will be for a long time. But we need to be adult about this, right?”

“Right,” he agreed. “So, how do you want to proceed?”

“I think we can be civil. Don’t you?”

“I will take civil. As long as you aren’t ignoring me, I will consider myself blessed.”

Amity smiled, shaking her head. “Where was that eloquence when we were dating?”

He laughed. “I know, right? I did tend to trip over my tongue a lot. How we got through a conversation still amazes me.”

“Give yourself some credit. You got better over time.” She nudged him and they shared a laugh. “I guess maybe civil will be easier to achieve than I thought.”

“I’d like to get back to friends. I won’t hope for anything more.”

She nodded. “I won’t lie. I don’t think we can be anything more if we do make it friends. Not after how you hurt me.”

“Understandable.” He glanced down at the floor. “What about Elysia?”

“I haven’t told her yet. She’s been spending time with friends. I didn’t want to ruin her vacation.”

“When will you tell her?”

“She’s coming here in a week. I’m going to tell her at Kristin’s house in Kent. Neutral ground, you know.”

“Can I be there?”

“No.” She was firm, knowing it was a bad idea. “When she wants to meet you, then we’ll make arrangements. Not a moment before. Got it?”

He nodded before standing. “I don’t want to be rude, but I am going to ask you to leave now. I think there are a few things I need to do that I’ve been putting off.”

“Of course. I’ll see you at dinner?” Amity stood as Remus nodded. Silence filled the room as they stood there, unsure how to part. Amity settled on a little wave and left, promising herself to work on that.

Returning to her room, she realized Kristin hadn’t gone there to wait for her like she had assumed. _Well, you know what happens when you assume. Time to go find her!_

She wandered down the hallway, trying to figure out where her friend went. Twelve Grimmauld Place couldn’t be that big. Kristin couldn’t have gone that far, she believed. Amity decided to check downstairs first.

As she rounded a corner, she heard voices from the parlor—including Kristin’s. She paused though when she heard the other voice. It was Severus Snape. Kristin had told her about their history, so she decided to let them talk things over. She could meet up with her later.

Now, she had a letter to write her daughter. And it wasn’t going to be an easy one.


End file.
